Wednesday, July 19, 2006

This is a list of things that was written by Kristen Scott of Blogging Baby. She titled it 6 Misconceptions I held before I had children. I love it and I just had to reprint it here for all my lovely readers!!

1) That children do not belong in restaurants - I used to hate having to raise my voice over my Bellini to combat the loud cry of a child. For the love of Pete, I thought, can't those people get a babysitter? I did not realize that parents sometimes need to go out in public, with their child, it is necessary to conduct a normal life outside the confines of home.

2) That parents should be able to prevent their children from crying/whining/throwing a tantrum in public - I have already had to eat crow on this one a dozen times - in Safeway, the drug store, the parking lot, restaurants, everywhere. If Nolan wants to start shrieking, there is nothing that I can do.

3) Bribing children with food is wrong - See above. I will do anything to halt a public meltdown, it is for my benefit and yours. You do what it takes.

4) That I shouldn't be expected to coo over someone's funny-looking child - Now that I have a child, I understand how upsetting it is as a Mom to watch Nolan get ignored when he is waving bye bye or smiling shyly at someone in public. I feel so heartbroken for him when he's rejected. He doesn't understand rejection. A little smile at my baby wouldn't hurt. Also he's not funny looking (your own child never is, of course.)

5) That I should never be faced with a woman's breast in a public place - My opinion on breastfeeding has dramatically shifted from somewhat uncomfortable with the notion to staunch advocate. I am ashamed that prior to having a baby, I didn't think women should breastfeed in public. I didn't realize how frequently feedings were required, nor how natural and beneficial it is for a baby.

6) That quiet, calm discipline would create a perfectly quiet, disciplined child - This one makes me laugh. Bop, pow, bop! No discipline creates a perfectly quiet child, especially a baby.

And here are a few misconceptions of my own:

1) You shouldn't change who you are to be a parent- I had no idea this is not somthing you have control over. You don't try to change, you are changed. Period.

2) That you deserve to get your "life" back- Ummm, now I realize that the life I made is a little more important than my own.

3) Babies should take bottles and be left with baby sitters early and often- Well, now I know that some babies will refuse to eat from anything but the natural container. And you can't alway afford a qualified babysitter, and family isn't always at your beck and call. And you know what, it's a very short and formative time in my babies life. I'll survive without dinner and a movie for a couple of years. A DVD and chinese ordered in can be just as nice, and a lot less nerve-wracking.

4) It's ok to let your baby cry themselves to sleep- I think when I was a nanny I told every family I worked for to do this. Now that I'm a mom I realize that letting my baby cry instinctually goes against every moral fiber of my being. It's tempting, but it's terrible, and no one benefits. I wouldn't let James cry himself to sleep without comforting him, why would I do that to my baby? (I feel terrible guilt for letting babies cry when I was a nanny.)

5) It will get easier as they get older- Nope, it just gets different.

6) You will love your kids- Well the misconception part of this is that I had no idea how much this love overwhelms your life. It's truly undescribeable. Making the sacrafices is tough, but when I'm playing with Gracie and she stops and says "I love you mommy, you're my best friend", or when Ian wakes from a nap and greets me with his arms up and a huge smile, well, there really, truly, honestly, isn't anything in the world that feels quite so good.

There are lots, lots more things I could add, but the kids are going to wake up any second, so I am going to stop. Suffice it to say that pretty much nothing you think about parenting before you are one, is the way it actually is!!


Granny said...

5) It will get easier as they get older- Nope, it just gets different.

And they will always, in some ways, be your babies.

Sue said...

Chiming in with Granny on this. It does
just "get different" You never ever stop being and feeling like a Mom!
Very insightful post :-)