Wednesday, October 25, 2006

"But I don't like him"

Gracie has said this phrase numerous times the last couple of days.  She tells me she doesn't like Ian anymore and that she wants a baby sister instead.  I don't know why she thinks gender would make a difference, a crawling grabbing baby is a crawling grabbing baby, but she won't accept that explanation.  She's been quite mean to him the last few days, she won't let him come in her room and she pushes him away every time he comes near her.  I don't know what other angle to take with things, usually I just remove him from the situation and give him another toy to play with or whatever, but it's not getting any better.  I feel really bad for him, he is just so happy to come near her, and then she shoves him away.  I hope this passes quickly.  I don't want to tell her she's wrong, I mean feelings are feelings.  I know she is really threatened by him "invading" her stuff and her toys, and of course until this point she has pretty much had run of the house in that department.  Now that he is moving though, and he is so interested in everything she is doing, she can't hardly get away from him sometimes.  I am hoping she comes to realize he could be a good friend.  And I am trying to teach her how to get away, like put toys up where he can't reach them, or just go to another room, but he's really quick and he always follows her.  She gets so so frustrated.  It's affecting him too, he is getting pretty aggressive.  He smacks and grabs at things he wants (just as he has done to him about 100 times a day) and he is starting to scream his head off when someone removes something from him.  And then of course this sibling issue is also affecting the way Gracie behaves when Dominik is at our house.  I have to give them separate piles of everything, Gracie is just about totally incapable of playing with him right now.  Every toy becomes a yelling crying game of tug-of-war.  Every thing is "mine", or "I want it".   
Good times.  I'm thinking of taking up martini drinking.  As a profession.


samantha said...

Oh Boy, I know what you're going through!! Chase was terrible when he was Gracie's age---Never wanted anyone to touch his stuff etc. We could hardly even have anyone over to play because he didn't want them touching his stuff!! Of course now he and Wes will fight, but they are used to sharing etc. now. It took a little while---just another phase!!! Good Luck!!!

Pamela said...

Our Gbaby Ben is 10 mo's old and we are working with him about sharing right now. We give him a toy and say, "share" take the toy, and say "thank you", and then give hugs. Funny huh!

When my three kids were little, we stressed what a "Big Brother" or in your case "Big Sister" you are! How sweet of YOU to share. :) He is just learning and YOU are so "kind". He loves you! (cause in their eyes this is mean, and hurtful) He just doesn't know how to play. Will you help Mommy teach him? You are Mommy's Big helper! Upon being successful, keep it short and reward both of them!

I alway attributed these lessons to the fact that our kids helped other kids when they got older, even at the playground. People were always amazed.

Don't get me wrong it will never be perfect, and they will always squabble over things. It may just help point things in the right direction. ((hugs))