Saturday, October 04, 2008

Can I have guilt and exhaustion with a side order of freakishly busy?

Oh my gosh.

I am so tired. This weekend I will be away the equivalent of two full work days. This is a change for all of us.

I feel guilty. Gracie went on a full on rant this evening about how much she misses me and how she wants me to stay home every day like when she was a baby. She told me she hates being 4 because it's just too hard and she loves me and I should not go work at the football game tomorrow. I will be gone for 9 hours. She is freaking out.

I feel so busy. There is no time. We have been running and running and running. Rec center class, music class, swimming lessons, play dates, home school group, errands, groceries, etc, etc, etc....... Weekends use to be our fun and relax time with daddy. Now they have to stay home with daddy who, if you recall, is in the middle of his MBA and always has something to write or read. Always.

We are trying to adjust but it's hard. I need to just chill and stop playing monday morning quarterback when I get home and James tells me how it went. The kids need to chill and realize that daddy is fun. James needs to get his homework done by Friday night so that he doesn't have to feel the pressure of school when the kids desperately need him while we adjust to this change.

It's hard. I hope it gets better because as much as I really like my job it's just not worth it if our home life goes to heck.


Coupon Chris said...

Hang in there. I know the feeling you are going through. It is why I am not working this season at the pumpkin farm even if we could use the cash.

Some mornings, when Andrew is in our bed he wants me to snuggle when I need to get up and get ready for work. I tell him that I have to get up for work and he bursts into tears telling me that he doesn't want me to go and he misses me. It just stabs me in the heart.

He will have to adjust, I can't just give up my full time job but I gave up the pumpkin farm because I want to give him some extra time. They will get used to it but they are so accustomed to having you there all the time.

Congrats on the job, sounds like fun!

samantha said...

AHHHHHHHHHH------I completely understand. I've been working the afternoons---taking care of 3 babies in the nursery while their mom's teach---My kids come with me and Jack takes his nap there etc. But it's still so stinkin' busy and it's getting old!! I have so much to catch up on etc. I'm going nuts---anyway, I think next year I'll only do it a couple days a week not every day Monday through Friday. I hope it gets better and that you're having fun!